We took the kids to school on Wednesday morning so that we could pack, clean, do errands, and finish up laundry before leaving for Memphis. We stayed in Memphis the first night because our plane left early the next morning. We picked the girls up at noon and headed out hopeful for naps. I can’t remember now what even happened on the drive to Memphis. I know they slept but I don’t think Charley slept much. Who knows? That’s how my brain works these days. My normally OCD-self would check with Pat to get the details right on the blog but that is just one more thing that I don’t need to add to my to-do list.
When we got to Memphis we went to Davis-Kidd Bookstore (I think it is really Booksellers and normally I would do an Internet search to double check, but again I’m just not going to take the time). It was AWESOME. They had a huge play area with at least 10 small children and their parents there. There was a small bleacher section and tons of toys they could play with including a play kitchen and train set. It made me realize what we are missing by living in a small town. If I lived in a city I could head out to a bookstore in the afternoon with the girls and let them play with kids with green snotty noses and get a cold before our vacation as I chitchatted with the mothers while drinking my Starbucks and reading People magazine for free. I could also congratulate myself for being such a good parent that I didn’t have to bribe my toddler by saying “Good boys who let me change their diapers will get a lollipop.” Say what? Since when did a routine activity like diaper changing warrant a sugary treat? And to say it out loud in front of other parents!! Yes, I felt pretty puffed up and like I could teach her a thing or two about parenting and the pitfalls of sweets for small children. But instead I hypocritically smiled a knowing smile as if that was a normal occurrence for all parents and as if the same thing had just happened to me when I bribed my children with lollipops if they brushed their teeth. Little did my puffed up self know that in just a few short hours I would be paying the consequences of a toddler on a sugar high.
We then went to Eclectic Café, which is near Rhodes University where Pam (my friend from graduate school) is a psychologist at the college counseling center. We met Pam, Jenny, and their 6-month-old twins Max and Abby (not sure of spelling). Their 5-year-old daughter, Kara, was at Disney World with Jenny’s mother. They had live music at 5:30 pm, which is not something we are accustomed here in the ‘ville. After dinner Jenny purchased cupcakes for all (but the twins) and we headed to their house around the corner to eat them and play with Kara’s Zsu Zsu pets. All seemed well as we said our goodbyes with our full tummies and discussed returning for an overnight visit sometime when Kara was home. We happily drove to the hotel oblivious that cupcakes at bedtime was not a good recipe for a good night of sleep before a long day of travel for one of our little travelers. Back at the hotel, we thought we had lucked out when the crib arrived and Charley started saying “Ni Ni” and “Mine” over and over while trying to climb into the crib. I put her in the crib and covered her up and took a deep breath of relief as I mentally patted myself on the back for having such easy children, which obviously was directly related to having such good parents. However, our littlest traveler had other plans and proceeded to school me in the lesson of “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” until 11:30 pm or so. I can’t remember the details anymore. I do remember Pat attempting to rock her while she just babbled and sang about Mama, Da Da, and Ry Ry. It was pretty cute at first. Not so much a couple of hours into it. The second lesson learned: no cupcakes at bedtime for Charley Mae.
So, we wake up on Thursday and head to the airport. As I type this I am suffering lower back pain from carrying the heavy carseat on my back. Pat and I each carried a carseat on our backs and they were not light. I won’t do that again. I will pay the money to check them and risk losing them before I risk my back. We each had a stroller and several bags, too. On the plane we had various “presents” for the girls that were pictured in my mobile blogs. We left Memphis at 8:30 am (Central) and arrived in Seattle at 11 am (Pacific). We then rented a high-mileage minivan from Fox Rental Cars, which could just as easily be called Half-Priced and High-Mileage Rental Cars for Families with Small Children who Have the Bright Idea to take a 19-Night Vacation. Anyway, the van was great and I wish I had one myself. What was not so great, though, was the drive from Seattle to Boise. We landed in Seattle at 11 am but didn’t hit the road until 1 pm. Pat took Charley with him to get the rental car while Ryan ran circles around several newspaper machines which entailed squeezing herself behind them and also convincing me to squeeze myself behind them and scoot sideways between the newspaper stand and the glass railing behind it. I thought I might be arrested for terrorism because I’m sure I looked strange wedged behind these machines scooting sideways in a robotic fashion. Ryan also had to go to the bathroom while we waited which posed a dilemma because we had three suitcases, a stroller, a carseat, a diaper bag, two Dora backpacks, Pat’s briefcase, my purse, two DVD players, a bag of presents for the plane, and golf clubs. I asked a girl to watch our stuff while we went to the bathroom.
Once we were back a few minutes she had to go again so I had to ask someone else to watch our things. Here is a direct quote coming from Ryan in the bathroom that time (recorded immediately on my phone to ensure blog accuracy)…. “I need to go poopie….I did!...It splashed into my vagina…this is going to be for my pee pee and now I need another one for my bootie.” She was talking about toilet paper at the end of the quote. No commentary is needed for that quote. By the time we were back Pat was there and I took Ryan to the car as he loaded our luggage into the van. I didn’t tell the woman watching the luggage that Pat would be retrieving it so she made him describe Ryan to her before she let him take it.
The next 8 hours will always be remembered as the worst car ride in history. One reason I believe it will always be remembered is because I briefly told my 70-year-old client about the car ride and he told me he would never forget traveling with his toddler daughter alone from Pennsylvania to Puerto Rico. The last two hours of the trip was in a stick-shift car with no air-conditioner and he held her on one shoulder and steered and shifted with the other hand. When I’m 70-years-old talking to my young whippersnapper therapist I’m sure I’ll recall with fondness the drive from Seattle to Boise. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I didn’t sit still in the car for more than two minutes at a time. Charley was the culprit again. She didn’t care so much for being strapped in the carseat. She kept dropping things out of reach and then would make awful noises that would ensure I immediately unbuckled my seatbelt and did a contortionist act to get it out from beside her seat. If this happened one time it happened 8,662 times. Either Ryan or Charley would want something that was in a suitcase in the very back of the van so I would do a Pilates-type stretch across the length of the car to unzip a suitcase under two suitcases and a bag of golf clubs.
We ended up driving about four hours to Pendleton, OR and spending the night and driving the final four the next morning. The primary memory in Pendleton is that Charley said she needed to go poopie and sat on the potty patiently for about 10 minutes and then she did poop on a the BIG HOTEL POTTY. However, it scared her and she jumped off the potty and poop followed her and she saw it hitting the ground behind her as she ran off screaming. The rest of the trip she would become very upset if we suggested putting her on the potty.
In short (or in long at this point), the car trip went so well that instead of Charley and me driving to Spokane the next week we got a one-way ticket on Southwest and arrived in a hour while Pat and Ryan leisurely drove the 8-hours stopping to dip their toes in the lake in McCall, build sandcastles, and have ice cream.
Stay Tuned for Phase 2…Boise….
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