What I am thankful for today is my two precious, little girls. As I see all of the Mulick cousins growing up, I could just cry because I know time will go that fast for us, too.
When I met Mike's family, Halle was 1 and Cole was 3. They are 10 and 12 now. Halle was younger than Charley is now and I remember their 2nd and 4th birthdays (they are in the same month, like Ryan and Charley). It seems like yesterday.
Eddie's kids are 16, 13/14, and 11. Kyle (11) was 4 (Ryan's age...crazy) when Pat and I got married. He carried his flower down the aisle and when the wedding was over he pretended it was a sword.
Michelle was saying that last week was hard for her because Justin was looking at colleges and Carley packed away her baby dolls and even wanted just get rid of some of them. When I met them, Justin was 9 or 10-years-old. Carley was 3-years-old. Morgan was 6-years-old and she got her braces off last week and looks so grown up.
When we were at the Carter's house there were pictures everywhere from when the kids were younger. Those pictures are how I mostly think of them because I have not seen the four younger ones in almost two years. Now, Brooke is in college, the twins are almost 16, McKenna is 12 but looks 16, and Blake is 9-years-old. At our wedding, Blake was like Charley at A & A's wedding. He was brought in for pictures and then taken back to the hotel with the babysitter.
Seeing these kids in intervals over the nine years makes it more tangible that these years are going to go by fast. So, I'm thankful to have two sweet girls that still need me even though it is sometimes hard being needed all of the time:) Soon, they will be all grown up and gone and they will not need me as much and my influence will be less. I pray that I will make better use of this time with them and appreciate every minute. I sometimes forget that I can use every moment as a teachable moment or a time to let them know that they are loved and valued. I could not spend my time doing anything more important. So many times I am just trying to get through the moments and this Thanksgiving I am reminded that I want the moments to count so that when they are 18 I will know that I did everything I could and didn't just get by. At that point I will be able to rest knowing that I've done my part and that they know what they need to know. I clearly cannot do this alone and will have to look to God for direction. I will have to let go of things going my way on my timeline...ouch...don't like that one. If I can slow down and listen to God I know he will guide me in what I need to do.
I say all of this and mean it but then I turn around, get frustrated, don't slow down to help R & C manage their emotions, and just get mad and make them keep going so that I can do what I want to do. "You have to the count of 3 to stop crying or you lose a book at bedtime"....this is not to help them it is to help ME do what I want because crying gets in MY way or it just irritates me. I feel like Paul when he said "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do" (Romans 7:15, NIV).
So, this Thanksgiving I am so thankful for my little rewards, Ryan and Charley ("Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him"-Psalm 127:3, NLT).But in being thankful I see how I could be a much better mother to them and promise to try with God's help. Thankfully I know God's plan doesn't require me to be perfect and He will work it out no matter what a loser I am:)
So, Happy Thanksgiving!! What are YOU thankful for?
KK
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